The Burden of Knowledge
by Siphor
Summary: Even though they were supposed to be enemies; even though she was supposed to hate him, it still hurts. Because knowledge is a terrible burden, and even S-rank criminals deserve someone to mourn them when they're gone. Slight ItaSaku.


**Disclaimer: I don't goddamn own Naruto. Geez.**

**Okay, this is my first ItaSaku fic, and I have NO idea how to do it. So be nice, please!**

* * *

Sakura stood silently in the desolate woods, light just barely filtering through the thick foliage of leaves. Her hair danced as the wind brushed gently against her face, caressing the smooth locks of brilliant pink and rustling the restless trees. A storm of flower petals spiraled slowly towards the earth in a dizzyingly beautiful array of white, lavender, and sky blue.

The not-quite-a-burial-ground was empty save her and one other. Emerging from the thicket, a stoic raven-haired boy took his place beside her, silent as usual. She offers him a small, half-hearted smile.

"Hello, Sasuke-kun." He merely grunts his acknowledgement in response, his red and black cloak fluttering with the wind.

She knows that as a Konoha shinobi, it is her duty to try capture or at least engage in battle with him, but here, in the sanctuary of the forest, she can bring herself to do neither. Over the years, the place had become a truce ground for them, a place where they can co-exist in peace. Here, he is just a boy and she is just a girl, and there are no worries of terrorist organizations or loyalties and alliances. Here, they can mourn without having to face the world.

The lone tombstone that stands in the clearing is relatively simple, a block of rock with a name carved in to it. It may not be much, but from what little (very little) Sakura knows about him, she feels that he would have preferred it this way.

_Uchiha Itachi. _

Not terribly long ago, that name would have meant something along the lines of _missing nin, evil, worst enemy, reason why Naruto and Sasuke-kun are so miserable, heartless, cruel. _Now, however, it triggered thoughts such as _tragic, wronged, unfair, why did that have to happen? sincere, true brother. _

Her first meeting with him was not at all what she assumed it would be like. All the rumors about him being a psychotic, unfeeling, brutal, cold-blooded murder proved untrue. In fact, she had found him quite human.

Brushing a lock of hair behind her ear, Sakura cannot help but let her mind wander over their not-so-pleasant first encounter.

_

* * *

Sakura woke up groggy and extremely disoriented, aware of a dull ache in the back of her skull. Trying to adjust her eyes to the dim light, she suddenly realized four things. _

_A) She was tied to some sort of chair that was made out of VERY sturdy material, B) there was not nearly enough chakra to do any super-strength moves in order to break out of aforementioned chair, C) she had absolutely no idea where she was, and D) this was overall a very shitty situation to be in. _

_Struggling furiously, she became aware of another presence in the room. Looking up, there was a person who was watching her futile attempts to free herself with amusement. Her breath hitched in her throat and she froze, unsure of what to think. The word almost slips out from between her lips: "Sasuke-kun?"_

_But it doesn't. It doesn't because it would make no sense, and all she really would be doing is deluding herself. It doesn't because she knows that no matter how much he's changed, she'd still recognize, him, and this man, though they look so similar it hurts, is not Sasuke. Being sharp as well as observant, Sakura quickly manages to put two and two together. The result is not pretty._

"_Itachi." The word is spat from her mouth, hissed distastefully like the vilest poison and she stops her struggle to better glower at him. "It's useless. No matter what you so to me, I__won't heal your eyes for you." His expression of amusement turns into a questioning look. _

"_But whatever made you think that was what I wanted, Sakura?" She blinks, skeptical. _

"_Well, I can hardly think of any other reason you would knock me out, kidnap me, and tie me to a chair in some undoubtedly remote location where no on would hear me even if I did scream." She remarked dryly. A remarkable talent of hers was the ability to be sarcastic even in the bleakest of times. Though that probably wasn't a good thing. _

_Itachi only shook his head so minutely she almost has to squint to catch it. "No. I do not wish for you to heal my eyes. It would most likely be a futile attempt, anyhow." Despite the relief she feels to hear that he will not force her to assist him, Sakura bristles. She is considered a medic nin second best only to the legendary Tsunade herself, if not on par with her. Suggesting that she couldn't heal him even if she wanted to was an insult to her pride._

"_Then why did you abduct me?" She demanded hotly. Itachi paused, as if searching for the right words. _

"_I want you to examine my condition. Tell me how long I have left."_

_She tilted her head in confusion. "What do you mean? How long you have…?" She trailed of feebly, puzzlement clear in her tone. His lips were pursed in what appeared to be thought. Telling her too much would produce negative results, but by the same token, if he told her too little, it would cause her to be even more reluctant._

"_I simply wish for you to see the state of my health. A check-up, if you will." He finally decides to give her the abridged version. The VERY abridged version. Sakura's eyes narrow, irritated with his extremely vague answers. She knows he's still not telling her the whole story._

"_And if I refuse?" It's amazing how she can still be cocky even when her life is endangered._

"_That would be… most regrettable." A snort is his reply to that statement._

"_Regrettable for __**me**__, you mean." His finger taps out a pattern on the carved wood of the table a bit impatiently. They do not have very long before it's time for her shift and her teammates realize she's gone. _

"_I see no reason for you to refuse. It is merely a simple check-up. You are not, in any way, assisting Akatsuki or their goals. This is purely personal." A frown creeps upon her face as she sees his logic. It's highly unlikely they will let her go until she complies, and to be honest, it intrigues her. Sakura may be a shinobi, but she's also a medic. _

_For a disease to exist that can take the life of Uchiha Itachi- the most feared missing nin in all of Fire Country, who evaded the ANBU for nearly a decade- seems impossible. This serves to remind her that he, too, is human. _

"_All right. I'll do it. Now could you __**please**__ untie me?" Something akin to amusement glints in his eyes, and she seethes with anger. _

"_Very well, Sakura." With a dismissive flick of his wrist, the ropes binding her vanish and she unceremoniously falls out of the chair into a disgraceful heap. Grumbling a string of profanities under her breath, she dusts herself off and walks tentatively to his side. A flame of chakra lights up in her hand, and she reaches out slowly. _

"_Um, this might feel a little funny." He nods his assent to her statement. _

"_Proceed." Even though she warned him, Itachi gives a slight start when he feels her energy wash through his body. It feels warm and cheerful and bright, just like the person herself. It is in stark contrast to his own, dark and heavy and suffocating. He notes this dully and tucks away the piece of information in the far reaches of his mind._

_When Sakura sucks in her breath sharply, he tenses. Her horror is palpable and the atmosphere is strained with tension. He waits patiently until her diagnosis is complete and she manages to regain her composure. "What is it?"_

_She hesitates, unwilling to tell him. "You… you don't have long left. I've never seen something like this. Your chakra coils are being eaten away, and your circulatory system is failing. The small and large intestines are being worn to shreds from the inside out. It…" She shakes her head, now in all-out medic mode. "It's awful. No one would be able to cure it."_

_The natural reaction to this declaration would be terror, but Itachi feels an odd sense of relief. Perhaps it's because that even though he already resigned himself to this fate, there was always the faintest shred of doubt that maybe he was wrong. But he didn't want to live; that just wouldn't work. He had to die at Sasuke's hands. That was what he planned all along. Hearing it said out loud somehow makes it more final, more inevitable. _

"_How long?" Sakura is shocked, to say the least, at his humble acceptance of his fate. _

"_Wh-what?"_

"_How long?" He dislikes repeating himself._

"_But- you __**knew**__?" The incredulous tint her voice takes on as it rises to a squeak does not go unnoticed. _

"_Of course."_

"_Then why-"_

"_Because I had to know how long." Her feet shuffle nervously and she nibbles at her bottom lip._

"_Um… you have about four months. But if you use the medicine you are right now-" He raises his eyebrows; could she detect even that? "Then you might be able to stretch it out one or two months. So half a year, at most." Half a year. That's just barely enough time for Sasuke to get strong enough to beat him, to kill him. _

_Half a year. Ironically, that was how long he had to prepare for his final mission in Konoha when he was informed of it. _

_Half a year. That's all the time he has left in this world before he must once again bid farewell to all that he knows, just like that night. But this time, it's goodbye forever. _

_His eyes flutter shut. "I see." Her expression softens. Now she sees him less as an enemy and more like a patient. _

"_I'm sorry." Her apology is genuine, and it catches him off guard. _

"_For what?"_

"_For… not being able to do anything about it." A pregnant pause fills the void of silence between them._

"_I was under the impression that you were against helping the enemy?" She scratches the back of her head, a habit she picked up from Naruto. _

"_Yeah, but… this is personal," she replies, echoing his earlier words. _

"_Ah. In that case, you are forgiven, Sakura. And I, too, am sorry."_

"_Why? For kidnapping me?" _

"_No. For what I am about to do." Her eyes widen as realization hits her, albeit a bit late._

"_Oh shi-" Her sentence stops abruptly as she falls limply into his arms, knocked out by his Sharingan._

_It takes only a little over an hour to deliver Sakura back to her rightful place in Konoha. Luckily, they have arrived before anyone could miss the pink-haired Kunoichi. Itachi gently places her back on her bed, careful not to disturb her slumber. _

"_Thank you, Sakura." He gives Konoha, his beloved village, one more glance before leaving for the last time. _

_Back in her room, Sakura silently wonders if he's really as bad as his reputation. Turning in her bed, she eventually gives up going to sleep and sits up, just waiting for the dawn. __**Thank you? What's that supposed to mean? **__She wondered. __**That… that's the same thing Sasuke-kun said to me that night… when he left. **_

_When the blood-red light of the sun seeps into the sky, much to her dismay, all she can see is Itachi's crimson legacy. _

"_Uchiha Itachi… who are you really?"_

* * *

She and Sasuke sit in companionable silence, each lost in their own thoughts and 'what ifs'. The burning incense fills her nostrils with the pleasant smell of pine trees and spearmint, the same scent that _he_ has.

To her immense mortification, Sakura was aware of a faint prickling sensation at the corner of her eye that signified water works were soon to be on their way. Quickly wiping away the stray traitorous tears, she turned around to pointedly stare at the undergrowth as if trying to bore a hole in it. Sasuke, although not the most emotional person you'd ever meet, was at least considerate enough to say nothing.

Sakura knew he almost _never_ cried in front of people, because he is an Uchiha and Uchihas do _not_ show signs of weakness while in the presence of others. It wounded her a bit that he didn't feel comfortable enough to open up to her, but she learned to get used to it. For whatever reason, it seemed that all Uchiha males were emotionally constipated.

_The stick stuck up their ass is just too goddamn big for them express themselves properly. I swear, they can be worse than Sai. And that's REALLY saying something. _

The tiniest of smiles graces her lips as she recalls that this was not necessarily _always _the case. Her second meeting with the infamous Itachi was sufficient to prove that.

_

* * *

A hiss of pain escaped in between her ragged and uneven breathing. Her hand instinctively flew back to her left thigh, where the fresh wound inflicted upon her person by the rogue nin they were assigned to subdue was still gushing fountains of blood. _

_Coming to a halt, she all but collapses against the nearest tree trunk there is, aware that the trail of blood left behind will make her all too easy to track but too damn tired to care, much less do anything about it. Lamenting her misfortune and the overall crappiness of the predicament she was currently in, Sakura somehow mustered the energy required to curse all rogue rain nin in existence to the fieriest depths of hell._

_The fact that she definitely did not have anywhere near enough chakra to perform any sort of super-strength or medical ninjutsu did not help at all. "Oh kami, what did I do to deserve this?" She muttered under her breath. "How the hell am I supposed to get out of this situation?" While grumbling negative remarks and generally being pessimistic, she failed to sense the presence that suddenly appeared. That is, until she heard what she could've __**sworn **__to be an all too familiar voice coughing in amusement. _

_Sakura's thoughts, if possible, became even blacker as her blood ran cold. __**Oh no. Oh HELL no. Dear kami-sama, PLEASE tell me that is NOT who I think it is… **__She began to hyperventilate, unsuccessfully trying to calm her pounding heart. __**No no nononono… Okay. It CAN'T be him, right? I mean, what are the chances…?**__ Quickly abandoning the process of convincing herself to be wrong, she moves tries to catapult from the first stage of anger, denial, to the last, acceptance. This did not go too well. __**Damnit.**_

_Glancing upwards, she is startled by the sight of him, even though he was expected. Despite the not overly hostile circumstances they last met, he is still quite the imposing figure. Her pulse quickened, and she repeated the sentence she had been unable to finish the last time they met. "Oh shit." _

_Letting a stoic façade slip over her features, Sakura attempts to play it cool. "What do you want?" She asks, sounding much braver than she felt. He cocks an eyebrow _

"_What makes you think that I want anything, Sakura?" She ducks her head and curses him for having that smooth, impeccable velvet voice that always made her lose her train of thought. _

_Her head snaps right back up when she feels foreign, rough skin gliding over her own. "What the hell?!" She yelped, most likely loud enough for everyone within a ten-mile radius (which happened to include her pursuers) to hear._

_Itachi gave her an eye roll, which was about the closest to actually emotion she was going to get. "Calm down; I'm not attacking you."_

"_What are you doing?" Her whisper was furious, and she could feel the heat rushing to her face at the unexpected contact. It was all she could do to try keep her heart beating at a reasonable rate and disguise the slight quiver in her voice. _

"_Examining your injury, obviously." Sakura opened her mouth to protest the ludicrous statement, but before she uttered a sound, his hand shot out to smother her words. "That would be highly unadvisable. I am fairly sure that your previous shout was enough to alert the ones who inflicted this wound of your nearby presence, and their job does not need to be made any easier." Miffed, she nonetheless saw the truth in his statement and kept her mouth shut._

_Only to promptly open it once again when she realized __**exactly **__what he was doing. "Wait- you-" Itachi glared at her in a what-did-I-just-tell-you-young-lady kind of way, which, admittedly, was not very effective. Sakura glared at the chakra flawlessly sealing the deep gash in her leg as if it were mortally offensive. _

"_Is something wrong, Sakura?" Her eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets due to pure indignation._

"_What do you mean, is something wrong?! Of course something's wrong! That's MY technique!" By the end of the rant, her arms were wildly flailing about in the previously undisturbed air. _

"_**Your**__ technique?" His eyebrows were now in danger of disappearing into his hairline. "I wasn't aware it belonged to anyone." _

"_I invented it! It's MY technique! You can't just go around stealing people's ideas!"_

"_Sakura. The Sharingan IS for 'stealing' other techniques," he deadpanned. "And," he added meaningfully, "my stealing your idea is what's going to save your life. Unless, of course, you want me to leave you here." _

_Reigning in her temper, Sakura scowled deeply and lay back against the tree, letting Itachi's (HER) technique work it's magic. As much as she loathed admitting it, he was skilled. Even if he did utilize the Sharingan, it takes a fair amount of chakra control to be able to perform medical jutsus proficiently, which he was doing. Goddamn genii. Her life was littered with them. _

_As if reading her mind, he shook his head and pulled away. "You should be fine. Do try not to do anything rash, though. As much as I would like things to be different, there is no cure for stupidity." She was sorely tempted to land a solid punch on his jaw, but attacking your savior is generally frowned upon by society. She ground her teeth and stiffly expressed her gratitude. Or at least, she tried to._

"_Thank you." He gives no indication he heard her. Hesitating, Sakura asks the question that has been bugging her the entire time. "Itachi…" He glances at her, interest piqued by the non-angriness of her tone. She takes his silence as a signal to continue. "Why did you do it? You could have just left me there. Why help me?"_

_He gaze is directed straight ahead, never wavering. "To repay the dept." He whispers it so softly Sakura is unsure if she was actually meant to hear. Itachi turns away vanishes in a whirlwind of leaves, leaving behind the scent of fresh pine and spearmint. Sakura sat there, bewildered, the still-lingering sensation of warmth on her leg being the only thing preventing her from passing it all off as an illusion._

* * *

Of course, after their last encounter, it was inevitable that she would eventually discover the truth. Being the Hokage's apprentice, she had vast resources at her disposal (and not all of them exactly… legal) which, coupled along with her inherited trait of curiosity, results in very few secrets that can be kept from Haruno Sakura for long.

She did some (a lot) of snooping around in the medical records, and found out that he had been diagnosed with terminal illness at age five. Further prodding revealed that this medical condition was only disclosed to his parents. Not even Sasuke knew.

When she branched her investigation out further, she final hit gold. In the mission records, the classified section, she had browsed through all requests submitted surrounding his time of fleeing from Konoha. Much to her distress, she had come across a maximum-security clearance file that revealed he slaughtered the Uchiha clan upon orders from above. Namely, the Sandaime, Danzou, and the elders.

When she finally, _finally_ knew the truth behind the entity she had come to know as Uchiha Itachi, she had been, first and foremost, furious. Actually, furious was the understatement of the year. It took Tsunade and just about every Jonin in the village to keep her from pummeling Danzou and the elders to a bloody pulp, one that not even the legendary Slug Princess could heal.

Confronting them head-on, Sakura is now willing to admit, was not the smartest move. She hadn't been thinking rationally, because if she had, the first thing she would've done was inform Tsunade of what she saw as treachery.

Later, Danzou simply brushed off the matter as "trivial, and not worth out time while we are trying to deal with an S-rank criminal organization," serving to anger her further.

But… she was angry at Itachi, as well. Angry because he had taken it, and taken it willingly. Hell, he _planned _to die at Sasuke's hands from the very beginning! And he succeeded. Even now, she wishes he hadn't.

Sakura only realized how late it was when she noticed the sun slipping beyond the horizon line. Glancing over, she saw that Sasuke had already departed, giving no warning as usual. She stayed, not yet wanting to leave. Fidgeting uncomfortably, she shifted and settled into a more convenient position.

As vexed as she had been, that eventually ebbed away, replaced by another, even stronger emotion.

Sorrow. Because once her wrath had subsided, the true gravity of the situation hit her. She was one of the few people who knew the real Itachi, and one of the two who actually believed what happened to him was wrong.

The saying goes that one truly dies only when they are forgotten. As if. After all, what good is it if the only ones who remember you are the cause of your death? Or the ones who killed you? Is that any better than being forgotten? No. It isn't.

Taking in a deep breath, Sakura stood up to return to Konoha. The burden of bearing this knowledge always weighed her down, but tonight it was particularly bad. She cast one last glance at the grave hidden among the trees before the shadows overtook her.

Yes, knowledge was a heavy burden, but it was one she was willing to bear. She would bear it because as long as she kept his memory tucked close to her heart, there would still be a little part of him that lived on. She would bear it because the knowing that she didn't do anything, knowing that if she really wanted to, she could have tried to stop it somehow and didn't, that was nothing.

Because the worst part of a funeral isn't the fact that you'll never get to see them again, to hear their voice, to smell the tell-tale scent that only belonged to them. The worst part is knowing that with time, everyone will move on with their lives, forgetting, no longer caring. The worst part is knowing that even if your world has shattered, the real one spins on and you have to keep up with it, or you too will be left behind.

After she and Sasuke die, there will be no one to care for him, to remember the Itachi that no one knew. Konoha will forever be veiled from who he really was, the sacrifices he made. He will be buried under the mountains of missing-nin, swept along with the tide of deaths and casualties.

With the flow of years, history will meld together and time will pass Itachi by, not remembering, not caring, not knowing him as anything another than another criminal, a blemish on Konoha's past.

And that knowledge was what hurt the most of all.

**

* * *

Wow. That was like, so cheesy and… wow. That sucked.**

**Anyway, even if it was cheesy and sucked, please review! If you have constructive criticism, I would very much like to hear it, 'cuz I'm thinking about doing more ItaSaku fictions in the future.**

**So, feedback much appreciated! Yes VERY much appreciated! It would make my day THAT much more special. And no, that wasn't sarcasm. Reviews are like drugs to me. Only much healthier. Hopefully.**


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